Things Will Never Be The Same
by NightDreamer92
Summary: Hana and Suzaku find themselves being torn apart as Suzaku leaves to be a Brittanian solider. Will they be able to pull through the distance? Or will they crumble under all the changes? One-shot


__**Hey everyone! Well this one-shot is a bit depressing, but it was more or less spontaneous. This is another one-shot that I transferred from Quizilla, but hope this is good! Tell me what you think? :)**

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><p><em>His green eyes locked with my pale blue ones, both of them holding sadness of letting the other go. I couldn't bear to see his forlorn gaze anymore so I looked down at our feet. After a few minutes of silence, I felt ready enough and lifted my head to look up at him. His green eyes still held sadness in them, so I managed a small smile, making his lips quirk at a pathetic attempt to smile with me. A soft giggle escaped my mouth as my eyes softened, unshed tears glistened in them. I could only hold onto both his hands and smile, trying to make this sad day seem bright.<em>

_"Oh don't look so glum Suzu; we'll see each other again. Besides, this should be a happy day! You're going to a prestigious school, it's a miracle they accepted an eleven there, you should be proud!"_

_Suzaku managed a smile and pulled me to him, pressing me to his body as he held me tight. My eyes closed as I nuzzled his shoulder, trying my best not cry. I pulled away slightly to look at his face and smile a bit sadly. Oh, how I was going to miss my best friend, the one that had saved me from thugs time and time again._

_ "Thanks Hana and...I'll miss you," his voice softened toward the end, making a lump rise to my throat._

_ "We'll always be together, no matter what Suzu, you gotta believe that." _

_ My cheeks warmed up as Suzaku pressed a kiss on my forehead tenderly. He pulled away and smiled sadly, rubbing my arms slightly as the taxi driver impatiently honked for him to hurry up. _

_ "Goodbye...," he whispered desolately._

_ I only smiled and shook my head. "No, not goodbye. Just...see you later."_

_ Tears quickly cascaded down my cheeks as soon as Suzaku's taxi was out of sight. I could only wave weakly at the empty road, hoping that he would never forget me. Just as I would never forget what happened between us. _

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><p>My pale blue eyes stare up at the ceiling of the hotel room Suzaku had paid for, while I couldn't get a wink of sleep. I could only lay awake on the soft bed, not getting used to the glamor my <em>once<em> friend was a part of now. A soft sigh escapes my lips as I turn to my side, staring out the window to gaze at the moon. Never did I imagine a year could change things so quickly between me and the one person I ever cared for.

My sweet Suzaku changed over the course of those long months; he became a famous Britannia soldier and a skilled fighter. Not to mention princess Euphemia's personal knight. I remember the first time I had come to visit, only two months had passed after he left and I couldn't take it; I had to see him. I was pleased to see his green eyes sparkle with happiness as he saw me and took me into his arms. Those two months of loneliness washed away, as the sparks returned between us again, as if he had never left. He introduced me to all of his new friends and his old friend Lelouch he talked to me once about. It made me happy to see him fitting in so well with the school.

For the week that I visited, he took me everywhere, told me all his adventures, and how exciting being a soldier was. I was truly happy for him and I felt my heart warm again as our eyes met so intensely. It was clear as day that we held strong emotions for each other, but it seemed each time we got closer to becoming more, something happened to stop it. The first time was me leaving back to my run down house, where _I _would always belong.

As two more months passed, I visited him again, only to feel a pang of hurt as his eyes didn't sparkle as much as they had the first time. At first I ignored it, but as time progressed, gradually the sparkle faded all together. I soon learned that I had been replaced in his heart by princess Euphemia. Oh how much I wanted to hate her for doing this to me, but I couldn't bring myself to. Every time I watched his eyes sparkle whenever her name was mentioned, just as they used to do for me.

We were fools to believe that we could make it work, all we did was waste our time dreaming and hoping things would never change. It seemed we always got closer to becoming that something more I always wanted, but in the end we would end up falling apart. I hated how it ended before it could ever start, it just wasn't fair. Each time I visited, I would always cry at night for I couldn't show how I felt about this all; he'd feel as if I was being selfish, I know he would. I can still remember the night where he ended what never began.

"Hana...I need to talk to you," he softly started as we walked around the town park.

My heart clenched, knowing somewhere deep inside me that this was about Euphemia taking my place. I only stayed quiet and waited for him to continue. He stopped suddenly and took hold of my hands, just as I had that day he left. His green eyes pierced my pale blue ones; it was such a strange feeling of déjà vu, only this time his eyes were filled with guilt, not sadness.

"I...I want us to be friends," he continued on, his voice tight with conflicting emotions.

I tried to make it light as I smiled and softly laughed nervously. "But Suzu, we are friends."

My smile faded as he shook his head and looked at me directly, remorse deep in his eyes. "Just friends..."

I didn't need a meaning; I knew what he meant all too clearly. I had only smiled, despite the tears that wanted to fall and nodded my head. He tried and tried to make me believe that this wouldn't change a thing, that we would always hold what we had for the other always. I had only shook my head and smiled, saying I understood even though I could still see his eyes holding our love. I wish he would have held onto that, maybe now we'd be together; I know we would have if he had given it more time. But no matter how hard I tried to convince myself, I knew it was over, I would always be only a friend to him. Even if I wished every night that it could go back to the way it used to be.

Small rays of light peek in through the curtains as the sun rose. My head turns to the window as I stare at it. I had made my decision and no matter how much it hurts me, I'm going to see it through the whole way.

A few minutes later I'm dressed and headed for Lloyd's building, knowing Suzaku would be there getting ready to go into another battle with Zero's black knights. I enter the spacious room where Suzaku was in his white suit, Lloyd talking to him about new adjustments he made to the knight mare frame. Though they stop talking as they hear my footsteps.

"Hana," Suzaku says surprised, not expecting me to be here. "What are you doing here?"

I walk up to him and stop a few inches away from his body, ignoring Lloyd who stood to our side. My eyes show the hurt and regret I felt for doing this, but I knew it would be for the best. We had fallen apart.

"I'm leaving."

Suzaku blinked confused, I usually stayed for at least a week, and it had only been three days since I came to visit him. "Oh...well, I guess I'll see you soon." He only smiles softly, coming closer to hug me, but I take a step away. I could see the hurt and confusion in his eyes.

I shake my head and look at him dead in the eye, just as he did that night at the park. "No, Suzaku. This is goodbye."

I slowly saw his eyes change as he stares at me confused, hurt, angry and with that old sparkle he used to have for me. He only shakes his head, knowing what I meant. Each time I left after my visit, he would always repeat what I told him a year ago, never saying goodbye, only "see you later." It was our way of saying that we would always remain in each other's lives, now, he understood I no longer wanted to be part of his.

"But...Hana, why? I don't understand...," he started, his voice quivering slightly as he tried to hold my arms, which I responded with moving back.

"You've replaced me Suzaku; you no longer have a place for me in your life. I'm not stupid, it's clear for everyone to see that." I look toward the giant white robot, feeling my heart crush even more.

"Hana that's not true," he tried to start, but he stopped as I shook my head.

"No, it is. And you know it is. Suzaku I'm losing-...you're losing a friend," I stated softly, looking back toward him as I changed my sentence at the last minute. But he noticed, I could tell by the way his eyes softened with regret and guilt. I could see how quickly he understood why I was doing this and it hurt to know his eyes showed that he barely realized that he felt the same way too.

My eyes glisten with unshed tears as I grab hold of his hands and look into his green eyes. "You understand why, I know you do. It's just...," I sigh softly as my voice quivers with sadness. "We both know that it will never be the same."

Suzaku didn't say a word as he swallowed hard, making me feel slightly better that this was hurting him as much as it was hurting me. With soft kiss to his cheek, I whisper to him.

"Goodbye Suzu."

Without another glance back at him, I walk away, feeling the tears pool over and silently slide down my cheeks. Little did I know that a tear had slid down his cheek as I disappeared behind the door, this time leaving him behind to watch me walk away. Just as he had walked out of my life. But I knew that if I stay, things will never been the same. I had been replaced in his heart.


End file.
